Judy was wondering why her husband had become so quiet. After ’rounding the bases’ with him using our small group class she found out the answer to her question. “Honey, I have felt really down lately. When I come home after feeling the stress of my job, you often greet me at the door with a long list of things I need to do or haven’t done. I am feeling like I’m on an island all alone and there is no relief in sight.”
THE RELATIONAL MAN
Take the quiz and see if you are a relational man….or not. We think ‘RELATIONSHIPS’ are what move mountains. Often many distractions get in the way of a well-intentioned man. He may mean well but for many reasons he falls short at being relational to his family, his co-workers, his neighbors or his friends. He soon finds himself falling into ‘ruts’ that can be costly.
RELATIONSHIPS ARE WORK
The bottom line, relationships are work but they are also crucial for us to succeed at any level.
“What is it about him, he constantly leaves his shoes on and walks all over the house” she retorted. “What is it about her, she constantly rides me to CLEAN…..CLEAN….CLEAN…..” he responded.
Sanguine | Choleric | Melancholy | Phlegmatic
Which one are you? What are these monstrosities? How does your personality impact your marriage?
Psalm 34:17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them, he delivers them from all their troubles.
Chris was working hard to keep up with his kid’s sports schedules. His wife Amy was exhausted as they were both heading in different directions every weekend between basketball, soccer and swimming. Their children were trying out many different sports, some they were excellent at, others not so much.
Continue reading “MARRIAGE OVER CHILDREN”
I was speaking to a very powerful business man about his marriage troubles. He said “My wife doesn’t listen to anything I have to say and my kids do whatever they want so I just gave up” “Give me some examples” I replied. “My kids don’t want to go to church with me and I want to sell my Mercedes to buy a cheaper car
Getting separated from your spouse can be the “kiss of death” regarding your marriage.
“Matt, can you help me figure out what is going on with my wife?” Bob said with a tremble in his voice. He and Sandy were married for 24 years with three children.
“What’s going on?” I asked. Bob gave me a very familiar response. His wife had gone COLD just like a block of ice. As he was sharing I was thinking ALERT, ALERT, ALERT as if we were inside a war room and witnessed the enemy launching nuclear missiles towards our land. Bob didn’t see the threat. He was calm and collected. He thought it was simply a ‘phase’ they were going through. Continue reading “3 SIGNS A MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE”
I wish I would have counted how many times I heard someone tell me “God wants me to divorce my spouse”.
When I first heard a man tell me this, I was shocked. “Really, please tell me more” I asked. He proceeded to unveil his twisted tale as my suspicions grew even stronger. His reasoning had so many holes in it even a child detective could have proven him guilty of ignorance and narcissism.
What is the real issue behind all your issues? Have you ever wondered why your marriage isn’t thriving? Most of us blame our partner and keep our focus on their list of sins. My spouse has a temper. My spouse has a drinking problem. My spouse is a liar. The list goes on and on. Every item on your list may be true but are those issues the ‘root’ problem? Probably not.
The real issue: ONE BITTER ROOT of judgement.
Matthew 13:15 For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’
Jesus is talking directly to us about the ROOT problem. Our hearts have grown hardened. In the same passage he gives us a solution.
PROBLEM: We allow one bitter root of judgement to grow in our hearts and it begins to close our eyes and ears to the truth. We then create a hardness towards others (and God) without even knowing it. We allow ‘others’ sins to shape our hearts. My sin never resolves someone else’s, it only compounds the problem. A bitter root judgement is when you judge someone who failed you or hurt you and your self-righteous judgement turns into bitterness. You may not even know you are doing it. Often that bitter root carries over into all of your relationships. It becomes your identity. Continue reading “BEWARE OF THE BITTER ROOT”