When teaching or confronting…..BE NICE!

When it comes to confronting, teaching or delivering hard truth…..    

Method and timing is EVERYTHING!

Be Nice 2Everyday we have opportunities to confront, teach or share a truth with someone.

Maybe that someone is your spouse.

When do you do it? How?

Matthew 13:4-8

as he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”


Everyone can maximize their ability to speak truth into the life of others by following three simple rules on how to plant seed on fertile soil.


One: Confront WHEN the time is right

Plant the seed when the soil is fertile. Is the heart of the person you are confronting fertile? Is the timing right? Never confront in the heat of the moment. Never confront when you are angry. Never confront when others are around (always respect them). Wait till you have your emotions under control. Delay your reaction until you are calmer and they are calmer. Ask them if now is a good time? Proverbs 25:15 tells us  “Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone,” and in Titus 3:2 it says for us,  “To slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.”


Two: Confront IN the right way

It is never appropriate to be mean to someone. Confront issues by preparing your approach ahead of time. If the other person gets elevated, don’t follow suit. Pray prior to meeting and always speak softly. The bible teaches us in  Ephesians 4:2 to “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love,” and in Proverbs 15:1  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Also in Colossians 3:12 we learn we are to “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”


Three: Confront, then follow up with LOVING Affirmation

Always follow up with affirming love, a hug, a kiss or a touch. Loving touches can make up a lot of ground after a confrontation. This works on children as well as adults. My father was always gentle even when he spanked us,  he always followed up with affection. For in 1 Corinthians 13:13 we read “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.and in1 Peter 4:8 itstates “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins”.


Wrap Up

 How do we Dare to be Different? Retaliating with anger and venom is never beneficial. Follow these three rules when dealing with people and you will find the outcome much more fruitful. Deliver your words WHEN the time is right, IN the right way and always wrap it in the blanket of LOVE and affection. Know that God loves you and so do I!

Now go and be different for Jesus Christ.

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