A very wise woman was the key note speaker at a marriage conference. As she was leaving a young couple rushed up to her for an autograph, without even a pause, she looked at the young man and said “You sir are an amazing husband to your wife”, he was a little embarrassed “How could you possibly know?” he replied, she paused for a moment then said, “Easy, by the countenance on your wife’s face!”
How about you? What does your spouse’s face tell you? Does it scream “God take get me out of here, take me home!”…trust me, that will happen. It is not the brief setbacks that I am on the lookout for, it’s the pattern. Pam is by nature a happy person with a beautiful smile. Her countenance usually lights up a room.
When her smile is absent for a while I would REALLY take notice. Before I give you a list of things to do when that happens, please know the same is for both husbands and wives. Sometimes great men who are usually happy go through a slump. Wives, keep a lookout for that to be a pattern. Men tend to hide their emotions more than women so you may have to look harder.
It seems like my father never let his emotions get the best of him. Even when he and my mother would have a big fight I would see him rub her legs and feet with lotion at the end of the night. Wow, what a lesson to teach your children.
1) HUMILITY Ask your spouse “Is there anything I need to ask forgiveness for?”
2) QUALITY TIME Take a deep look at your quality time with your mate in the past 3 months.
3) RESPONSIBILITIES Identify your responsibilities in the marriage and make sure you have been putting effort into your part.
4) FAITH Look at your walks with the Lord. If either of you fall back and away from the Lord, it will impact the other.
5) DATING Date nights. Often a simple date night can fix a low spirit.
6) WORDS OF AFFIRMATION Encouraging words must be spoken. Words build up people like the wind elevates a bird.
7) INTIMACY Intimacy is often linked to all the other moving parts. Sex, holding hands, touching, hugs, kisses are important.
There you go,
Take an inventory of these 7 items and see if you can find a couple areas needing attention. I would be surprised if you couldn’t put that big ole smile right back on your partner’s face.
In the event nothing works, consider getting marriage mentoring, counseling or see a doctor for some medical advice. We all have different reasons for getting into a slump.
Now go and be different.