Three Ways To Spice Up Your Marriage

John came home from work exhausted. He walked into the kitchen only to be attacked by four wild beasts who were eagerly waiting for him. His children ranged from three to fourteen years old.

He gave them each a hug and affectionately nudged them towards the toy room as he flung his jacket on the back of the chair. The room was cluttered with homework, crafts and papers left over from the night before.  Sandy finally appeared from the fog and greeted him with a gentle kiss. They were both stretched to their limit. After dinner they adjourned to the kitchen to clean up. It seemed like ground hog day. The kids dominated the whole evening from a mirage of questions about why the moon shines so bright to the reason crickets make such a loud sound.

Finally, bed time. Sandy took them upstairs so they could brush their teeth and go to bed. One hour later she anxiously searched for John and found him on his computer wrapping up work related emails. “How long will you be on that computer?” she asked. John mumbled something but not loud enough for her to understand. She gave up and went to bed, tired and lonely. It’s been months since her and John have had any grown up talk that was meaningful and without interruption. They had slipped into a rut. Their marriage needed ‘spiced up’.

Read the Song of Solomon in the bible. You will discover the most poetic and intimate conversations between a husband and wife. Even though Solomon was extremely wealthy and overwhelmingly busy as a king, he had time to be a great lover to his wife. He mastered the art of ‘words’.





When was the last time you went on a date? Do you remember when you had a conversation that didn’t include screaming and yelling from the background? When was the last time you had a gentle touch from your spouse as they slipped their arm around you as to say “All is ok with the universe”?

Too often couples think dates need to be exotic or costly. On the contrary. The simpler the better. Extravagant dates are ok occasionally but shouldn’t be the norm.

Some couples go fishing or camping while others go out for dinner. Some couples enjoy movies, theaters or they simply go to a book store and getting a mocha. The key is to get out of your rut and start connecting again. Some of the best date nights are found in the simplest of things.


Pam and I frequently schedule a night with no T.V. or smart phones. During those nights we play board games, read books or have a devotion. The key is to schedule our time in order to get out of a routine. Television, computers and smart phones are all feverishly competing with our affection and time towards our spouse. Enjoy one night a week while escaping those distractions can be amazing for your heart and mind.


Many books are written by Christian authors spicing up the bedroom. It can be very rewarding to read a sex guide together as a married couple. Often couples don’t talk about their sexual needs or desires due to embarrassment. This is certainly an area where you will never get what you want because you aren’t asking for it. Here are some couple books I recommend. Read, learn and do.



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