So, I’m divorced: Now what?

SO, I’M DIVORCED: NOW WHAT?
Episode One

“Death is a final stage of life, something we all must face. But many people go through another kind of death well before the coffin. It’s called divorce.” ~Kevin McDonald

No one gets married with the intent of getting divorced. But it happens frequently. I’d like to discuss three powerful ideas that will help keep your life together after divorce. In episode one, I will share the first idea…

IDEA ONE: Keep actively disciplining your children.

Why is this so important? Because divorced parents often feel guilty about the impact their divorce has on the kids and due to their guilt, they go easy on discipline, the rules, and the boundaries. Kids sniff this out very quickly and often take advantage of it.

In some cases, parents become manipulative with kids by lifting the rules and the discipline hoping their children pick ‘their side’. This can be confusing for kids. At first, they may think you are the ‘cool’ parent and want to be with you all the time. Certainly, it’s self-serving and fun but it doesn’t take long for them to see through it all and they turn on you because they felt used and manipulated.

Believe it or not, kids want discipline. An article in Parenting magazine gives some great insight into moments when your children are most craving discipline.

Kids Want Discipline. Strange but true: Sometimes they act up because they’re hoping you’ll lay down the law. By Teri Cettina

According to Dictionary.com, the origin of the word “discipline” is the Latin word, “disciplīna”, which means “instruction, tuition, discipul(us)”.

Discipline isn’t something you do to your child; it is something you do with your child. It is important to help your child understand what behaviors are acceptable and the consequences that follow inappropriate behavior.

Discipline is a way of life, not merely a response to a specific problem. It is not about controlling your child’s behavior; it is about teaching your child to have self-control.

“For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”
– Hebrews 12:6

Next week I will talk about the second powerful idea to help keep your life together after divorce.

For further growth, please consider taking our online course at https://www.daretobedifferent.com/Marriage-ClassSeminar.

Pam & I pray blessings over you and your family.

 

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