Sandy couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her husband Joe. He had become distant and barely uttered three words to her in a sentence. “What’s wrong with you?” she proclaimed to an all familiar response, nothing. Joe just gave her the look.
While having coffee with her best friend, Sandy shared the situation. “Describe to me your typical discussion with Joe when you are trying to get him to do something, in other words what is your crazy cycle” her friend asked. Sandy then pondered their ‘crazy cycle’ and got out a sheet of paper to literally document it.
John noticed a happy couple laughing out-loud while they were strolling on the beach. It struck him deep as he pondered how long it had been since he and Becky laughed out-loud together. They had a good marriage but it lacked the spark it once had.
John was so compelled by this couple, he walked up to them and asked about their secret to a happy marriage. Their response shocked him.
John and Tammy had a wonderful marriage. They met in high school. He was the football captain, she was the cheerleader. They both loved God with all their hearts and fell in love with each other. Twelve years after marriage they found themselves in a crazy cycle of ‘kids sports’ between the traveling teams for soccer and the year around teams for basketball, they found themselves having to choose between their son Tommy and their daughter Abby’s demanding schedule.
Tim was a hard working man who loved his family. He had been a good father to his children and was climbing the corporate ladder quickly. We met for lunch one Friday afternoon just to catch up on each other’s lives. Sandwiched between a conversation about fishing and hunting Tim said “Things aren’t so good in my marriage”.
Have you ever wondered if you were being emotionally abused by someone? I have heard many people say they wanted a divorce BECAUSE “my spouse is emotionally abusing me”. Maybe they’re the abuser and don’t even know it.
A very close friend of mine (we will call him Eric) grew up in a very abusive home. His parents rarely (never) verbalized their love for him nor did they share the words “We are proud of you”. His father was physically abusive to him and his siblings. The long list of trauma had a deep impact on his self identity. “If only I could become someone great, THEN, maybe my parents would love me!” he murmured to himself as a little boy.
I went on a date with Pam one night and noticed a couple next to us on a date however both of them were glued to their phones the entire time. Not once did they even look up at each other. “WHAT HAPPENED?” When did it become ok to go on a date and not pay attention to the person we are with?
Rinse or no rinse before placing the dish in the washer?
Whew, so many questions.
Throw everything in there till it’s packed to the brim. The dishes don’t care where they are in the scheme of life. They all get cleaned regardless of the order they are in. As far as back to front, front to back…..who cares? Jam it, stuff it, cram it or place it. This is not an area of precision for me. Continue reading “Loading the Dishes and Marriage”